How many times have you found yourself in a situation where you missed the meaning in an exchange of ideas? You say never? Okay then allow me to tell you about my missing the obvious. Names are withheld to protect the innocence of the persons involved.
I visited with an elder who had recently become a widow. His wife had made her transition to the other side of this earthly experience. They had enjoyed a very long time together as husband and wife, many years of bliss and happiness, rearing a family of several children. They always expressed love to each other and people that visited with them.
I was there to express compassion, or so I thought. I was ready with my words of comfort and insight. Ready to say whatever needed to be said to offer a ray of hope that life continues even in the midst of our losses. I was honored to be able to help!
Well even in our times of good intentions we must listen! We must be willing to release our preconceived notions of what is the perfect thing to say or do and just BE with the other person. This is a lesson I will always remember because it brings such joy and love to my heart.
So anyway there I stood in a position of pure love and concern for my elder. I heard him praying and saying, “Lord Please!” And he kept saying that same phrase over and over. My mind thought he wanted to be with his wife, on the other side. So I just sat there praying for words that would uplift. After a while I asked him what his thoughts and prayers were. He laughed at me and asked me the same question. When I had answered him, I repeated the question back to him.
His response was, “I need a woman in my life”. I said okay that is understandable, he had had this woman in his life since he was a teenager. So to now be without her must be difficult. But instead of fully being there with him, I asked him had he given any thought to having a pet. Afterall, a pet could give a person some companionship.
He looked at me and said, “What didn’t you understand about what I told you? I said I need a woman!!!”
I was so thoroughly tickled. I just laughed. Actually I hollered, burst open with laughter!! How could I not understand that he still had feelings, he was still alive with emotions? He felt safe enough to share his deepest, inner most desires with me. What an extreme honor!! So I promised to take him out cruising the next opportunity I had.
The lesson here is, do not get caught up in YOUR perceptions!